Why I Should Have Explained My Surrogacy Better To My 4 Year Old

by: Jennifer S. (AI surrogate)

 


A couple of days ago I was sitting down with my 6, 4, and 2 year old boys watching Reading Rainbow on PBS. One of the books that was highlighted was Rumplestilskin. We watched and my kids absorbed it. Then yesterday my four year old asked if my IP's name was Rumplestilskin. I told him NO, and said you know his name is Bruce. Then 15 minutes went by and he came back into the kitchen and asked why did I let Bruce take the baby then if I guessed his name right, because the queen in Rumplestilskin got to keep her baby if she had guessed the name right.

Six weeks has passed since I gave birth to Scarlett. No questions had been asked by the busy little minded four year old. We have a 6 year old who was in kindergarten so we had told him this isn't mommy and daddy's baby. It's Bruces'. I never thought to explain this to the four year old. I didn't think he understood. So we went through the routine with him of telling him the story. He asked if we had been together sexually? Was it his sister? Would we ever get to see it again? Was Bruce happy? Does the baby need a mommy, since Bruce is a single father? The questions just kept coming. And then, as if he had seen the light, the questions stopped and he wanted to go and ride his bike. I never thought surrogacy would have been so interesting to a four year old.






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